who do you hate today?

hehe!! bootcamp was easyish....tech school was fun and my first duty station is in the middle of nowhere oklahoma!!!!! woohoo!!! well......yeah. not much to say, so...toodles!

hey hey!!! only 3 more days till i leave!!! (or at least i'm supposed to leave)

alright, so i'm really shitty about updating my shit. sorry!!! yeah, i tried to get into my opendiary, but alas it didn't work. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my life is shittier than normal. i'm homeless, no job, hardley ever see my fiancee cuz HE works. blah! well whatever. i'll ATTEMPT to remember to update later.
peace,

wow, it's already summer, it's boiling hott...and the hunt is on for a new place yet again. please, if someone reads this and i'm talking about moving in with people that are not will, steve or my parents...find me, slap me till i cry, and tell me "NO!!!!" because i'm tired of being ridiculed and walked all over. i am most certainly NOT the goddamn town scapegoat!!!! i am soo tired of trying to help others when they won't do a thing to help themselves. alright, anyone who tokes and whatnot,i mean no dissrepect whatsoever by this next comment. I HATE FUCKING STONED PEOPLE ALWAYS COMMING OVER TO MY HOUSE, AND WITHOUT EVEN ASKING IF THEY CAN, EATTING ALL OF MY FUCKING FOOD THAT I SCRIMPED AND SAVED TO BUY B/C I HAVE TO ALSO PAY THE RENT AND OTHER BILLS, AND LEAVE ABSOLUTELY NONE FOR ME!!! you know who you are you bastards!!! *sigh* oh, yeah... and today's my birthday. woo-hoo....(makes circle motion with pionter finger sarcastically) it was awsome...(also sarcasm)

hey guys and girls!!! how's life treatin you? hopefully well, and maybe winning the lottery or something is soon to happen!!! :-) well...i got sworn in on tuesday morning, and i find out in a few weeks when my ship date is!!! i'm sooo excited! yeah, and i'm getting married in about 6 months!!!!eeeeeeeeeeee!!!! i'm soo happy now!!! and apprarently my so-called friend thatcher has been telling my fiancee that we made out!!! i have no recollection of this whatsoever!!! although i believe i was sleeping, i may have been some sort of plot to get the two of us to break up. i dunno! people have been being soo weird around me lately. grrrrrrrr! what's going on!?!?!?!? i dunno, but NOTHING is gonna ruin my happiness!!! :D big smile! yay! well...bye for now!
ME!

hey ya'll! how's it goin? i'm pretty good! i'm sitting in a swanky hotel and waiting for my buffet dinner to begin! god, i love the government now!!!!!! anyhwo, i just thought i'd letcha all know that i passed my ASVAB test!!! i had to get a 50 to pass and i got a 72!!!!!!!!!!! go me, right? anywho, i hafta go now!! huggs and such!
ME!

hey! i'll be happily on my way to nice warm texas in a matter of weeks!!! i'm soo excited for bootcamp!!! :-) i know that sounds weird, but i am! well...the bad thing is i'll be away from will for about 6-9 months!!! so thoes of you that know us, please make sure other girls keep their gruuby paws offa my baby! PLEASE!?!?!?! cuz when i get back i'm gonna marry that boy! so anywho! my sargent took me and all the new recruits to hooters today for all you can eat wings wednesday!!!! it was great! i'm still really full!!! i ate soo few wing compared to everyone else too! lol! well....i'm gonna go now!
huggs and such,
ME!!!

yeah, so i moved outta allys house, and all b/c jimmy friggin hates me and hurt me soo badly. i thot he was actually my friend, and he stabbed me in the back.....well, he actually put it as " no hunny, i stabbed you in the front!" so i suppose he's right, but does it really matter? he hurt me and he admited to it. so now i live at home with my parents again and that means that i'm almost always away from will....and that really kills me. but yeah, life is beginning to suck again! growl!!!!i'm rally pissed, so i'm gonna go b4 i start ranting anymore!

why is it always me?
sometimes i feel as if he doesn't care,
but as usual, that just can't be.
why is it always a fight?
i'm his unstopable problem,
this just isn't right.
why do i feel this way?
i think sometimes of leaving,
maybe he'd be happier if i didn't stay.
why can't he understand how i feel?
it's as if he doesn't care about me,
like when he says "i love you" it isn't real.
why doesn't he realize he's my life?
i just can't show him enough,
i want to marry him and be his wife.
why am i soo paranoid?
i'm soo afraid he'll turn and leave,
it always seems like he's soo annoyed.
why do i have these dreams?
like him leaving me for another,
it's enough to make me scream!
why can't i just ask for help?
maybe i'm too scared, but here it goes,
why me? HELP!

just writting to update and have nothing better to do with my time

ok, the house has finally come up with an idea for our "bussiness"!!!! yay! we are making and selling raver jewelry, crocheted handbags, buttons to promote unknown bands and such( personalized, sayings,ect...), hemp jewelry and candy raver braclettes, (sp?)and tons more stuff!!! if you want to purchase any of these items, please e-mail me at mommysangel86@yahoo.com with your order. (any color bags and jewelry.) thanks soo much!!!

I AM SOOO FREAKING TIRED,IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!

it's just another day. ya kow, same old shit..just a different day. will's sick, and mom finally talked him into going to the doctors.....big mistake. will hates doctors, hates needles, and basically hates anything that has to do with being sick. just friggin wonderful. jimmy's stillhaving problems with gary....big suprise there, but he's in love and love is blind. oh, well...i'll keep you posted in the drama that i call life! later dayz!

ok, this is bad...i'm up at 7:30AM, i'm outta smokes, and i feel like shit!!! ok, now i just hafta find a job today.ha! like that'll happen with my luck!

Butterfly kisses, Little girl dreams.

Teddybear wishes, Nothing is as it seems.

Smiling faces Darkness falls.

Avoiding people Building walls.

What is life without a bit of pain?

A little stress Keeps us sane.

But what will happen When it all falls apart?

What will you do When a guy breaks your heart?

Just stand tall, Show him you'll survive.

And for that perfec happiness, You will strive.

But always know That you have a true friend.

I promise you babe, I'll be there till the very end!

~*Anasstrianna Galanodel*~

"untitled"

my hearts all torn and tattered,

my existance goes unnoticed.

for all the time i've given up,

i recieve grief and hatred in return.

why do you hate me so,

when it was you who let me go?

the fires burn inside my soul,

and tears course down my velvet cheeks like rivers.

why would you want to see me hurting?

why did you squash my dreams?

you asked, i answered.

you told me i don't have what it takes.

i ran from you then, i hid in a dark corner.

you never came looking for me.

when you stumbled across me at last,

you didn't recognize me anymore.

i've waited and waited,

but i'm tired of being left behind.

it's over now, and i accept that.

so why won't you leave me alone?

just posting to post. it's not like anything has happened since i last posted. i sorta just woke up! lol! well...later dayz all!

just wanted to let you all know that. it is now almost 5AM and i have yet to go to sleep! everyone is keeping me up, so i'm updating my journal! lol! maybe they all shut up and i can sleep...however unlikely that may be, i can still hope.....right?

Take the quiz: "Which Vampire Clan Do You Belng To?"

Brujah
You're a rebel with (or without) cause! Clan quote: 'Think for yourself, or your better off ded. Either way I'M satisfied'.

Take the quiz: "Which God or Goddess are you?"

God of Bloody Death
Gothic, dark, and a bit violent. Or, you could be a bit slutty, seductive, and dark. You go for the more goth type look complete with reds and blacks. You like death, it's cool to you. You escort those who have died a brutal or bloody death to their place of...well, their place, not much rest there.

Take the quiz: "What Kind of Soul Do You Retain?"

Loving
You have a very warm and loving aura about your soul and believe in the virtues of Love. To you, there is a bright side to everything! You are the polar opposite of the Dark soul.

ok, here's the scoop. everyone one around me is fgetting highly suspicious of my "being sick". i'm moody all the time, i'm eating weird shit, and i can't eat the things i used to be able to eat. for example, yesterday i was trying to eat a chocolate bar, but it was making me sick. about 5 min. later i realized i was stuffing peanuts down my throat. i HATE peanuts! but they tasted good to me. i'm soo confused. will thinks i'm pregnant, and he's friggin excited about it too. i'm not so sure if i am. if i am, i'm gonna have the baby and keep it, but if i'm not.....what the fuck is wrong with me right now???? pooh! i just dunno anymore. i'm more than sure ally would LOVE to be an aunt, but am i ready to go through this? but with will and jay and everyone else behind me, i think i'll make it. i guess i'm just really scared. i'm only 18 and have no way to support myself, let alone a child! i'm just really scared and confused. if anyone else has been in this prdicament or are in it right now, i'd apreciate some input and some help please. thanks a ton! catch ya all later!